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Be The Change- Self love, bullying, and eating disorders.


This isn't meant to be about me but, I feel I need to give a little back story on myself for the point to make sense. I moved from the small little town I was born in when I was a freshman in high school. In my hometown I had (still have) a group of friends I've known my whole life and I never really experienced a mean person. Yes, little things would hurt my feelings and I know there are mean people everywhere but, I hadn't really had much exposure to these people. The town I moved to was a whole new world for me.

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Being the skinny new girl, day one, I was met with hatred. I was given the nickname "Anorexic Anna" which doesn't even make sense considering my name isn't Anna. People were constantly telling me to eat, saying hideous things in my ear about how skinny I was. I had girls chasing me around town throwing things at my car. Dead baby pigs and formaldehyde were dumped on my car in the school parking lot. I was harassed walking through the halls at school. This is not an easy thing for a high school girl let alone someone who has never moved before to cope with. I felt sick every morning before school and coming home crying or livid was a common practice. I thank God every day for the good friends I did end up making and my extremely supportive, loving family. If it wasn't for those people, I'm not sure how well I could have dealt with the bullying.

The point of this is not to point fingers or for a pity party. I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone or want to go through it again, but I am a stronger person because of it. I'm writing this is to urge parents to look out for signs of your child being bullied or being a bully. I've always been skinny without trying. People tell me I should be a model. I'm kind and if I don't say so myself, pretty funny. I'm creative and confident. Not, the typical person you would look at and think, "victim of bullying." That doesn't mean it's not happening. Kids are mean. They will find anything to poke at if it gets a laugh. Also, young people... you don't know what someone is going through in their life. What if you're bullying someone that goes home to an abusive parent. What if that person hasn't had a hot meal in days. What if, and this is the big one to me in this particular case, they actually do have an eating disorder.

I've never had an eating disorder, but what if I did? Instead of being met with compassion I was met with hate because of how I looked. A huge problem in our society is girls bullying other girls. As a woman, we should have compassion towards other women's struggles. It's hard enough to be a girl, let's not make it harder on each other by being mean. Our bodies, every shape and size should be celebrated. We should be focused on being healthy not focused on what society is telling us we should look like. We should all desire to lift each other up and make others feel empowered. Instead, we've created an environment of hate and unrealistic expectations. Eating disorders are a serious health and mental health problem. People who have eating disorders are already struggling with emotional and physical pain and the fact that someone would choose to use that as a weapon is the lowest of the low.

Here is my plea.

  • If you're being bullied find a friend or a family member and hold on tight. Even if it's just one good person in your life, lean on them. Don't let the person bullying you seep into your mind and soul. They are miserable and trying to make themselves feel better by hurting you. If you are being physically bullied or it's too much to handle emotionally, tell someone. Find help. Don't push it into the background and try to deal with it yourself. Strive to have the self confidence of your four year old self. Unashamed to love yourself because the world hasn't had the chance to make you feel like you shouldn't.

  • If you're bullying someone, take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why. Ask yourself how you would feel. If you're miserable in your own life, which I'm assuming you are, find a way to fix it. Don't take it out on the person you think is easiest to bring down. That's weak and karma will be coming for you. That being said, you deserve happiness too so focus on finding that happiness rather than zapping someone else's.

  • If you're someone who has an eating disorder I urge you to get help. Find inspiration from others who have been through what you're going through and have come out on the other side healthy and happy. Stop comparing yourself other people, especially people in the media who have set impossible standards of what beauty is supposed to be. Focus on beautiful, healthy you.

I hope this will help at least one person to realize they aren't alone. To realize they don't deserve to be bullied. I hope this will encourage at least one person to stop being a bully and find help themselves for whatever is driving them to anger. I hope that at least one person will be inspired to seek help and heal from an eating disorder, to realize they are beautiful in their own way. We all have control over how our society is going to change. If you see someone hurting, be the change you want to see in the world. Show them some love. Help them feel wanted.

Here are some resources if you or someone you know needs them.

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